Rifd Episode 10 : January Fever Dream

We're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, we're here, we're back, and I still don't have a job.
I'm just a jobless slob who loves going on the cob and slobbing knob. I mean I really want a job so if you've got a job for me then call me at 1-800-RIFTP.
I will pants you. And we're back, we're back, we're back, we're back, we're back, episode 10. I can't believe we made it then.
So I don't know, I don't, do we even care, do we know what we're talking about tonight?
How has it been your January? How was it? It's February now. Did you waste it? Did you taste it? Did you make a resolution? Was it to start a yoga revolution?
Oh please tell me, please, I've got nothing to say. I'm gonna do some fucking weird shit today.
So welcome back to Rift. I got an update on the job search cause you give a shit. Then maybe I'll talk about some of the interviews I did and why they're so dumb. And I'm interviewing a guest, his name is Jason. He's gonna tell me about how he got laid off.
That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right. Hey y'all.
Alright. So how was your January? I was trying to remember what I did in January and it was good. I took the kids to Lasertag. Loveland Lasertag not a sponsor and I will not be sponsored by them until they resolve some business issues, workflow issues.
You know, we don't need to go into it here but just be mentally prepared if you take your kids to Loveland Lasertag that it won't be as fun because of the way you have to schedule activities.
It was really cold here in November like the teens, you know. It was cold. I got sick, I had a cold, I think I'm over it. And me and my son built a giant marble run. I think that's it, you know. Football teams won that no one wanted to win.
And my health insurance is in shambles but other than that things are just dandy. Dandy.
So I've been interviewing and in my line of work, which is stupid because what I do is not that hard, there is usually about five or six interviews that you would do to try and get a job somewhere.
So it starts out you talk to the recruiter, then they have you talk to the hiring manager, then usually the hiring manager has you talk to the VP or they go the other way and they have you talk to like the director of solution architects, like a technical manager.
So after you talk to them, then you talk to some peers, that's another interview, then they want you to do a role play where they give you a business and you know they're a subscriber of this company and they give you the scenario and they're like the business is really stupid and they love butts and then it's like you have to make a presentation for that.
So you have a quarterly business review about the butts and how we can de-buttify them and you go through that and you make this stupid slideshow, it just takes ages, I mean way too much time to get a job building fucking slide decks.
And you know some people would practice it, I don't like doing that, I like getting cold which is probably why I don't have a job yet, so then you should practice it and then you go and do this presentation in front of people that don't want to be there and that don't necessarily know the scenario as well as you do because you've been reading it trying to get this fucking job and they haven't, they've just been going to meetings.
So you have this role play and then at the end they give you feedback and then sometimes you never hear from them again, sometimes you hear from them very in a curt way and then you know sometimes I guess you're supposed to go into the next round if that's not the last round which isn't always the last round, there's just so many interviews, it's insane how much time is wasted.
So then I did that for a company, Big ID is the name of the company I guess they are like a document data classification stuff, clearly I got the job in this story and I went through that and then I gave the presentation and it went alright, I felt like I bombed, I was like I don't think I got that job.
And then the next day I got an auto email from their fucking like bot that said, thanks we're no longer considering your application.
Like I had been talking to these people for weeks now, I had five fucking interviews with them, I probably talked to six, seven different people at the company.
So they send me this auto email, just a little burp right there, and we're like, we're not doing your application anymore, get the fuck out and we hate you and you're dumb.
And I was like what the hell, so I emailed the recruiter, the recruiter, I was like hey is this true? And she's like unfortunately it is.
Unfortunately yeah, we're not, I was like thanks guys, so now I need to figure out what to do about them, I obviously named them here and shamed them and I don't know, I was going to put like a grumpy review on Glassdoor, but what do you do?
It's so stupid, it's a waste of everyone's time.
So I did that and then I had another company that I'm actually still in the running for, so we're not going to disparage them yet guys.
And the interview went awesome and I thought I crushed it, so hopefully that just seals that little journey up and I get a job and it's you know, we could all use a little job, I'll probably be more regular doing this now that I have a job.
Because I can't just talk to you guys about Call of Duty anymore.
Unless you really want to hear about it, I can talk about these meta guns, we can talk about so much stuff.
Anyway, interviews are just so dumb, they're such a waste of time, they're a waste of money, they're a waste of my time specifically, that's why I don't like them.
So that being said, where do we go from here? I think we need to interview our guest Jason.
I guess the first thing I should put out there is that Jason prefers to remain anonymous, so we've used a voice changer here for this interview.
I just want to make sure that we are respectful of Jason and no one tries to dox him or anything like that, so that's why we're doing that.
So thank you Jason, welcome. Hold on, I'm trying to pull my notes up so I can actually talk to you in a cogent manner here.
Cohent? Is it Cohent? Jason, please don't talk yet. No, don't fucking talk yet.
Jason, stop. Alright, you can talk now.
Hi, my name is Jason and due to the nature of ongoing litigation with my layoff, I will be anonymous here.
Thanks Jason, thanks for coming on. So you know I got laid off with my story kind of stupid, what's your story, what happened with you?
Well, my story is a little unique in that it was a family business and it's quite small business but I still got laid off.
So in my 30s my name is Jason and I come from a, what you would call a wealthy background.
And my dad owned a company so I got to work there because that's what rich boys do.
They work for their daddies and I worked for my daddy.
Work for me daddy. So I was working there for quite some time and you know I was out there, I was in marketing, I was like chief marketing.
So I was always sort of going around and spreading the news about the company and saying like what's up guys, here's the news.
And everything was good and everything was going good.
Okay, so you're working marketing at this company for your dad, which I already, I already don't really like you.
Why, why?
Because I'm tired of these like nepotism things. Can we do something else? Like something other than nepotism, like zeppetism?
Where, I don't know, where you get zeppelies, you get to eat them.
So can I keep going?
You don't want to talk about zeppelies?
No, I'd rather not. I'd like to talk about my experience for your podcast.
Okay, proceed.
So I had a team of 12 people and we were great.
What type of people were on the team? Wow, my voice just cracked, that was weird. What type of people were on the team?
It was a really diverse team. I think, you know, everyone had their strengths and everyone had their weaknesses and I knew all of them and they followed me.
And I really feel like we had a good thing going.
You know, there was like, yeah, like I said, there was 12 of them and we just sort of roomed the countryside spreading the good word of the company and then like, you know, we started getting a real fucking following out there.
And it was good, times were good.
So you were having just the time of your life, you were just out there, like you can do, you could do no wrong.
No, I was walking on fucking water. You like, you don't get it.
That's crazy. Dude. So did you get like free food at this job? Like you got laid off. But I like talking about the atmosphere of the job. What was going on there? I mean, did you get free food? Mainly I care about the food.
Yeah, so we got unlimited fish.
What? Unlimited fish?
Unlimited fish. And we got wine.
Wine?
Yeah. I can make it. I make it.
Oh, so you're like a vintner. You make wine.
Yeah, like that. So I make it and I make, I can make fish.
Right. Okay.
So the job paid for this food or you like contributed this food to the job?
So I know, like I gave the, I gave it gratis, gratis to them.
Cool. So you worked here, you're spreading the word, you're getting fish. And then, I mean, when it ended up happening, like why, what went wrong?
Nothing went wrong. I got laid off. This is not a job. This is a story about me getting fired. Nothing went wrong. Okay.
Right. Sure.
But there was this other guy on the team that like he threw me under the bus. And then ultimately I feel like that helped lead to my layoff.
Oh, so there was like political drama internally. Okay. I got you. Maybe he didn't like fish.
Yeah. Maybe he didn't.
So then what happened? You got laid off. What was your layoff like? Because for me it was just like this lady was awkward on the phone and she was like, I don't know anything.
What was yours like?
So, there's like this unruly mob and...
Excuse me. You like the people that were getting laid off?
No, it was just a mob about me. They didn't like me.
Wow. Holy shit. That's crazy.
Yeah. And then they made me carry this cross and they put me on it and stabbed me and stuff. And then I died on it.
You what? Metaphorically died on the cross.
In your layoff?
No. The guy actually died.
I don't know if I believe you anymore. You said you worked for your dad. Why would he kill you?
So that's the other weird thing is like I'm, I am my dad sometimes.
Okay, you have to leave. You're talking nonsense. This has been a great show.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
So, you got laid off by your dad who is also you and you, what are you up to now?
Like what? So my layoff, I've, it was great, you know, it's still happening. It's still great.
Just having all this time to myself is great. What has been your experience?
It has been so good. Um...
Basically, I just get residuals because it's a family business. I actually didn't have to work. Um, that was just something that I wanted to do.
To like prove that you could do it? Is that what, like just say, yeah, I can do it. Yeah.
Like kind of. Like, yeah, I just wanted to know that I could get down there and like kick some butt and like make stuff happen. So that's what I did.
Yeah, respect. But then you did have that unruly mob kill you and um...
Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I don't want to go back. I mean, it has a big part.
Right. Humans do get violent. For reasons.
Yeah, most definitely. Yeah.
Yeah, like sometimes I wish that that would just stop happening, right? Like world peace.
Dude. World peace. Amen, man. I am right there with you. I would do that shit too.
Right. Um, same. It would make things a lot easier.
But yeah, I mean, so what did you do in your lab? Like what have you been up to?
Um, so... Actually, because I heard your podcast, I started The Sopranos. It was so good. I can't believe I slept on that.
I'm telling you, it's pretty good. It's actually kind of really funny too. There's a lot of funny moments.
Totally. And like the strippers are so hot. And um...
What else are you watching? Why'd you have to make it weird, man?
Um, I'm watching Project Runway. I decided to go back and watch Project Runway.
Whoa, no shit. I'm actually watching Project Runway right now with my kids. We googled what is the best season of Project Runway.
Now we're watching it. I think it's 16. It has these weird twin girls on it. So if you've ever seen it, I don't know where they're from, but they're weirdos.
Dude, I'll put it in the list. I'll put it in the hopper. Okay? Right? Yeah.
Sweet, dude. Yeah, totally. Um, my kids watched the new Wonka movie, which, you know, I don't like it, but they like it.
Oh yeah? That's a pass for me. That's a pass.
Cool. Um, so you've been watching TV. What else have you been doing in your layoff?
Uh, I've been exploring the galaxy.
Oh, like doing mushrooms or something, right?
No.
Like what?
Exploring the fucking galaxy, man. You should try it sometime. It's sick. There's so much shit out there. It's crazy.
Like no one's telling us about the shit out there. It's fucking bananas.
Can you tell me, can you give me some examples?
Um.
Please.
There's like literally space whales.
What? Yeah.
Yeah, they're so good too. We just, you shoot a meteor right through their fucking head. It explodes. Oh my god. That space whale meat is so good.
I think that's a good place to call it. Um, Jason, you've been a wonderful guest, but you really creeped me out right then.
Yeah, no problem, man. I'd love to come back on sometime.
Yeah, I don't think that's ever going to happen. Um, in fact, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get canceled so there won't even be a podcast anymore. But, uh, maybe if things come back together we can make it happen.
Okay, man. Well, thanks for talking to me. I hope you have a really good rest of your fucking life. It's not that much longer.
Um, yeah, probably not, but.
No, it's 83 days.
Wait, what?
I mean, have a good day, man.
Bye. And, uh, hey to everyone out there.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.