RIF'd episode 1 : Intro to my layoff life

[00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.220]  there's a saying and I'm gonna butcher it but it's like don't let the perfect
[00:00:05.220 --> 00:00:08.820]  be the enemy of the good or something like that when you're when you're doing
[00:00:08.820 --> 00:00:15.120]  something don't strive for protect protection strive for protection don't
[00:00:15.120 --> 00:00:17.860]  strive for perfection because you're never gonna fucking hit it I just said
[00:00:17.860 --> 00:00:23.540]  protection so we're already way off track here but really just get your foot
[00:00:23.540 --> 00:00:28.220]  in the door get your face out there get your face in the door do whatever the
[00:00:28.220 --> 00:00:34.840]  fuck but anyway we're here to talk about I don't know random shit I was laid off
[00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:41.120]  from my job this year and I had been wanting to be laid off for like two
[00:00:41.120 --> 00:00:46.520]  years anyone that knows me I would go they'd be like how's your job a cabin
[00:00:46.520 --> 00:00:51.520]  how's how's work how's the old worky and I was I would just tell them god I want
[00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:57.840]  to be laid off this job is so stupid and they asked why did I want to be laid off
[00:00:57.840 --> 00:01:01.600]  and what would I do afterwards and I didn't really have a good answer for
[00:01:01.600 --> 00:01:07.800]  that I just knew I didn't want to do my current job and that brings me to today
[00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:14.160]  so here I am I'm a man without a job I finally got laid off I'm the dog that
[00:01:14.160 --> 00:01:18.280]  caught the car I don't know what the fuck to do with it I was working at a
[00:01:18.280 --> 00:01:23.360]  large software company and I was a customer success manager and that's a
[00:01:23.360 --> 00:01:29.920]  very thrilling title for basically filling in Excel spreadsheets about
[00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:35.080]  things you did or didn't do so management could see that people weren't
[00:01:35.080 --> 00:01:42.680]  doing anything and they decided to change my job they said hey Kevin we're
[00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:46.800]  not gonna be customer success managers anymore we want to be technical adoption
[00:01:46.800 --> 00:01:51.680]  managers and you can either be a technical adoption manager or you can
[00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:56.840]  take this severance package at which point I said I will gladly take this
[00:01:56.840 --> 00:02:03.720]  severance package because I was done working there oh oh sorry I just burped
[00:02:03.720 --> 00:02:08.320]  in it and burnt a little bit because all I generally drink in the morning is black
[00:02:08.320 --> 00:02:15.680]  coffee so I was done working there I had worked at this company for 11 years it
[00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:22.680]  was a big portion of my life I went from a married whatever year old I don't know
[00:02:22.680 --> 00:02:33.280]  30 no 28 year old 27 28 I was started at this company at 28 and I worked there
[00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:38.800]  for 11 years and I went I did a whole bunch of different jobs and it was when
[00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:41.760]  I started working there was in the most amazing company and everyone was so
[00:02:41.760 --> 00:02:47.280]  happy and everyone was just doing all the cool stuff we had cool technology we
[00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:53.880]  had free snacks we had free drinks every Thursday Friday one of those days they
[00:02:53.880 --> 00:02:58.280]  would have it was Friday they would have bash they call it bash they would bring
[00:02:58.280 --> 00:03:01.720]  in food and everyone in the office would get to eat this delicious free food
[00:03:01.720 --> 00:03:07.680]  from some random restaurant and it was amazing everyone there was super smart
[00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:11.880]  when I got hired there they said congratulations for getting hired here
[00:03:11.880 --> 00:03:16.320]  that means you're super fucking smart which is quite a weight to put on top of
[00:03:16.320 --> 00:03:21.600]  someone's shoulders but hey they did it and I don't think I'm super smart but I
[00:03:21.600 --> 00:03:26.880]  managed to stay there for long enough fly below the radar for 11 years and
[00:03:26.880 --> 00:03:33.360]  what that meant for me was that I got a severance package that was roughly seven
[00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:40.080]  months pay and guess what I used it all up this is seven months later and I'm
[00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:46.160]  just sitting in my basement recording a podcast because I don't have a job and I
[00:03:46.160 --> 00:03:53.280]  don't necessarily want another job doing what I was doing so part of this is just
[00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:56.760]  some soul-searching and figuring out what the hell do I even want to do like
[00:03:56.760 --> 00:04:02.640]  what is a job what does it mean to me I I don't know if I've ever had a job that
[00:04:02.640 --> 00:04:10.680]  was something I actually liked doing you know I just like the money I like what
[00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:17.000]  money can get you and make your life it makes your life easier I mean what is it
[00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:23.040]  you know money doesn't solve all your problems but it definitely gets rid of
[00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:27.240]  some of the really stupid fucking problems that almost everyone has if you
[00:04:27.240 --> 00:04:30.000]  have money you don't have to worry about a lot of different things you don't have
[00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.200]  to worry about how much food costs you buy whatever you want how much rent is
[00:04:34.200 --> 00:04:41.400]  you know all these very base level sort of necessities of life that everyone is
[00:04:41.400 --> 00:04:48.840]  stuck worrying about all the fucking time jobs let you do that but what do they get
[00:04:48.840 --> 00:04:55.400]  in return right I mean 40 hours a week more 50 60 what what does that actually
[00:04:55.400 --> 00:05:03.480]  mean I mean you have to spend so much of your life at these dumb jobs doing
[00:05:03.480 --> 00:05:08.680]  meaningless things I mean I'm speaking strictly from the tech realm by the way
[00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:17.400]  of just how generally meaningless this stuff is right like all you're doing or
[00:05:17.400 --> 00:05:20.760]  all I was doing I don't want to speak for everyone all I was doing was really
[00:05:20.760 --> 00:05:25.480]  just helping other companies make a shit ton of money so that's not really
[00:05:25.480 --> 00:05:30.880]  fulfilling yeah I got to talk to people all the time at different walks of life
[00:05:30.880 --> 00:05:36.400]  roughly but they're all techie people and they all sort of had the same goals
[00:05:36.400 --> 00:05:41.840]  which was make a lot of money and so they don't have to work anymore and I
[00:05:41.840 --> 00:05:48.440]  know that was mine because it was never fulfilling and I'm sure there were people
[00:05:48.440 --> 00:05:53.400]  I worked with that were very fulfilled but it was never for me you know
[00:05:53.400 --> 00:06:00.000]  commuting to the office my commute was 40 minutes in the car and you know each
[00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:09.000]  way every day 40 minutes what is that what is 80 times 5 80 times 5 got I'm
[00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:14.800]  bad at math this is why I don't have a job it's 400 minutes what's 400 divided
[00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:26.400]  by 60 6.6666 hours a week in my fucking car and what did I do with that time you
[00:06:26.400 --> 00:06:31.160]  know listen to the radio listen to how the world is collapsing inward on itself
[00:06:31.160 --> 00:06:37.960]  I would listen to my music mix and just sing in the car most of the time that I
[00:06:37.960 --> 00:06:43.640]  spent commuting was just karaoke in the car because it was such a stress relief
[00:06:43.640 --> 00:06:50.920]  for me you know just to release all that anguish that I built up throughout the
[00:06:50.920 --> 00:06:56.560]  day because I'm constantly thinking inward why am I wasting all this time
[00:06:56.560 --> 00:07:02.760]  here you know I'm wasting all this time I have a wife I have a dog that was in
[00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:08.040]  the beginning now I have two kids and our dog died this year but I still have
[00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:13.240]  a wife she's still alive and so are my kids and just sort of figuring out
[00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:19.640]  why we spend so much time we spend so much energy and so much of ourselves
[00:07:19.640 --> 00:07:26.840]  that we put out there at the workplace to come home exhausted and disillusioned
[00:07:26.840 --> 00:07:31.640]  and kind of pissy with the people that we actually want to spend time with and
[00:07:31.640 --> 00:07:37.720]  spend our lives with and the impact that it has on your family life on your
[00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:42.520]  home life when you're how you talk to your friends how you relate to everyone
[00:07:42.520 --> 00:07:47.560]  is just so impactful I just don't think it's necessarily worth it but then again
[00:07:47.560 --> 00:07:52.480]  you need fucking money so what do we do I'm burping a lot I don't know if it's
[00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:58.400]  picking up on the mic so I guess that's what this whole podcast is trying to
[00:07:58.400 --> 00:08:05.320]  figure out so back to me my name is Kevin I am a 40 year old overweight white
[00:08:05.320 --> 00:08:13.920]  man living in suburbia I own a home I have two cars I've got a pretty good but
[00:08:13.920 --> 00:08:20.360]  even that isn't enough right you can't just sit at home and marvel at your
[00:08:20.360 --> 00:08:25.360]  popcorn ceilings and the asbestos they're in there's more to life right so
[00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:28.520]  so I guess that's sort of what I'm trying to figure out here is what is
[00:08:28.520 --> 00:08:33.720]  there what is more you know I I got laid off shortly after we had to put my dog
[00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:39.960]  down my dog nitro he was I think 13 years old he was a golden retriever slash
[00:08:39.960 --> 00:08:44.720]  German Shepherd mix and he was the fluffiest little bundle of love that
[00:08:44.720 --> 00:08:49.920]  had ever existed in my life up to that point he was my first dog I actually
[00:08:49.920 --> 00:08:55.440]  grew up with cats and I did not like him when my wife picked him up I can tell
[00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:58.880]  you that I was pissed it's like why did we bring this fucking dog into the
[00:08:58.880 --> 00:09:05.360]  apartment it's already shitting places it's ripping up the carpet and that was
[00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:11.160]  you know 13 years ago and he became this just key component of our family that's
[00:09:11.160 --> 00:09:15.160]  sort of fluffy touchstone where if you were ever feeling bad you could just
[00:09:15.160 --> 00:09:22.320]  shove your face into his fluff and inhale his puppy scents and feel better
[00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:27.500]  about yourself and feel better about the world and he had he died he died on
[00:09:27.500 --> 00:09:34.440]  March 16th 2023 the day before my anniversary and that sort of set the tone
[00:09:34.440 --> 00:09:39.480]  for my feelings moving forward in the year and the the upcoming layoff which I
[00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:43.240]  didn't know was going to happen I had an idea that we were gonna get laid off or
[00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:48.960]  I guess I should stop saying I got laid off I actually chose to be laid off so
[00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:52.960]  when they change they changed our job roles is from the customer success
[00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:58.360]  manager to a technical adoption manager all gobbledygook bullshit you know
[00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:03.480]  technology terms they said you can either be a technology technical
[00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:06.760]  adoption manager or you can take the severance package I thought it was
[00:10:06.760 --> 00:10:10.120]  stupid I took the severance package but it was also weighing on me like no
[00:10:10.120 --> 00:10:14.160]  nitro is dead and I'm sad and I don't want to do this anymore and this job is
[00:10:14.160 --> 00:10:19.320]  pointless so in that realm of this job is pointless and summer is approaching
[00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:24.720]  rapidly and I want to spend as much time as I can in the summer doing cool summary
[00:10:24.720 --> 00:10:31.160]  stuff I decided to take the severance package and oh what a severance package
[00:10:31.160 --> 00:10:35.880]  it was my very first order of business was to buy an e-bike I've always wanted
[00:10:35.880 --> 00:10:41.880]  an e-bike so I looked around I did some research kind of big into researching
[00:10:41.880 --> 00:10:44.920]  shit when I'm going to buy something you know some people just pull the trigger
[00:10:44.920 --> 00:10:48.680]  and other people research incessantly and I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle
[00:10:48.680 --> 00:10:55.440]  because the you know I end up buying things and then regretting it but this
[00:10:55.440 --> 00:11:00.320]  e-bike I have not fucking regretted it's amazing it's not something that I'm
[00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:06.880]  being paid to say but the ride one up roadster v2 gravel edition is fucking
[00:11:06.880 --> 00:11:11.960]  sweet it's the coolest bike I love riding it and I've up to this day I've
[00:11:11.960 --> 00:11:15.880]  ridden it about 400 miles and I just love it I wouldn't have been able to
[00:11:15.880 --> 00:11:22.440]  ride my bike all over the town if I wasn't laid off and that's ridiculous
[00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:27.160]  right like I got fired from my job I'm like just like a little kid I'm like what
[00:11:27.160 --> 00:11:33.760]  am I gonna do I know I'm gonna go ride bikes for a summer so I spent my summer
[00:11:33.760 --> 00:11:38.960]  riding my bike in the nice weather and we had an amazing summer and I live in
[00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:45.000]  Colorado and it's not normally super green here in the summer like in in July
[00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:49.800]  we'll roll around and the heat will come in and burn everything and the grass
[00:11:49.800 --> 00:11:53.520]  turns brown and the and everything's brown but not this year it was super
[00:11:53.520 --> 00:11:59.640]  green so I'm just riding my sweet e-bike 40 year old fat man riding it around
[00:11:59.640 --> 00:12:05.560]  town marvelling it all the green greenery I mean smoking ton of weed at
[00:12:05.560 --> 00:12:12.560]  this point and just really enjoying my life and it was incredible and the
[00:12:12.560 --> 00:12:18.000]  problem with that is that it made me want to go back to work even less so I
[00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:23.120]  guess that's sort of the struggle right is what is this life that I'm leading
[00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:28.520]  how do I turn it into something meaningful how do I you know keep my
[00:12:28.520 --> 00:12:35.080]  lifestyle going and pay my mortgage and shit like that while still living a life
[00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:40.560]  and doing the things I enjoy hey I guess that's a struggle all of us have and I
[00:12:40.560 --> 00:12:44.360]  would love to hear you know your experiences with your disillusioned at
[00:12:44.360 --> 00:12:49.320]  work you can read our anti-work it read it you can you can just read all these
[00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:55.840]  stories of unions forming and strikes happening and and people just stopped
[00:12:55.840 --> 00:13:01.960]  giving a shit and I think I am definitely one of them I think COVID had
[00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:06.880]  a huge impact on my feelings about work and I'm gonna dig into that more at a
[00:13:06.880 --> 00:13:10.920]  later date and just really try to understand what the hell are we doing
[00:13:10.920 --> 00:13:15.040]  here what do we want to be doing what's the future of work what's the future of
[00:13:15.040 --> 00:13:21.240]  us of humans and how do we make this planet which is seemingly worse every
[00:13:21.240 --> 00:13:25.200]  day but come on it's always worse everything's always worse as you get
[00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:30.360]  older it's just the nature of life you start you start viewing the world
[00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:34.600]  through a more cynical lens as you get older and and really for me it's just
[00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:39.600]  trying to stop doing that so much stopping such a cynical prick and really
[00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:45.200]  understand the joy in life and where it can be found so that's what I really
[00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:50.800]  hope to achieve in this podcast I mean I've had tragedy in my life much as any
[00:13:50.800 --> 00:13:58.000]  other people and any other people much as all other people have endured tragedy
[00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:04.360]  or will endure tragedy it's a common thread and I think really navigating
[00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:09.400]  that and negotiating with yourself about what that means and how you can turn
[00:14:09.400 --> 00:14:14.960]  that around and judo flip it into something positive is what I want to
[00:14:14.960 --> 00:14:20.960]  achieve here so I guess this is sort of my first podcast I don't know what else
[00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:26.120]  to say I'm just gonna leave it at like 15 ish minutes and say thank you for
[00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:31.300]  listening if you listened if you didn't listen fuck you I hate you and come
[00:14:31.300 --> 00:14:36.920]  back I'm gonna do weekly episodes on subjects that interest me and things
[00:14:36.920 --> 00:14:41.560]  that are going on with my life and I really hope you stick around and if if
[00:14:41.560 --> 00:14:45.340]  you want to be interviewed by me I'll interview fucking anyone I don't give a
[00:14:45.340 --> 00:14:49.620]  shit I think everyone has something to share and not enough people are given
[00:14:49.620 --> 00:14:54.160]  that opportunity so thank you for listening I love you I don't love you
[00:14:54.160 --> 00:15:00.480]  but I could I might later goodbye